Smooth operators
I took a shower, then, as my wife and children shouted encouragement, rubbed a pinch into my fingers and through my hair. The label promised a matt finish, which sounds like a description more appropriate to a gallon of paint, but I get it: Murdock will not whip me into a sharpie or a low-rent gigolo; when in public, a gentleman prefers a matt finish. I would place this product with the best. It holds all day and, though I spent some of this time in front of hot lights, I never burst into flames.
The next morning, after washing out the hair putty, I finished my grooming routine with the application of Spray Wax by Sachajuan (£17), a company in Stockholm. It comes in a white can with an aerosol-type trigger. Leave it to the Swedes, those fjord -dwellers, to send forth a hair product that goes on in a blinding white cloud of wax. The result was a sort of petrified head of hair, with every strand in place but frozen, as if time itself had come to an end.
Wondering what else such imaginative folks could come up with, I decided I had to try Ocean Mist, another spray from Sachajuan (£18). It comes in a clear atomiser, which lets you see the formula inside, and promises “a beach feel. The hair gets a natural twist and volume, like after a day at the beach with sun and great waves.” It sounded like a Ventures riff in a bottle: Brian Wilson singing, the sand blowing through my salt-fleck curls, that girl checking me out. I sprayed it on dry.











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